As a mainstream-message board lurker, I've learned that average surfers are still pretty clueless as to how this business works.

"Are you here because you confused the word Cozy with the word Easy? Did you, god forbid, quit your job already? Well, log off right now and go beg your boss to give you another chance. Don't worry. I'll wait."

For example, when bloggers discovered former right-wing reporter “Jeff Gannon” had his profile posted on various escort sites, many of them assumed that he actually owned all those domains. They didn't hover over his ad banners to see if there was an affiliate ID, contained within the outgoing hyperlink. They didn't understand that just because Jeff (a.k.a. James Guckert) claimed to be an escort, that didn't actually mean he was an escort. Mainstream bloggers found Jeff Gannon on roughly 20 adult websites. He only owned three or four. On the rest, all his ad links contained a referrer ID. Nobody ever proved he was an ex-hooker. They just think they did. These mainstream bloggers, with all their savvy about the Interwebs, couldn't tell the difference between a creative attempt to sell memberships with an enticing profile, versus a real prostitute. But that's just one, illustrative example of how clueless folks are before they actually join this business.

I would tell you the millionaires-aren't-born-overnight story but I am so tired of repeating it. Instead, if you're new to the adult Internet, I'm going to ask you to stop.

Stop and consider why you are here. Did you come with visions of high living and free love? Did you arrive expecting to make money immediately? Have you come to sell us on your new idea that will revolutionize Internet porn? Are you here because you confused the word Cozy with the word Easy? Did you, god forbid, quit your job already?

Well, log off right now and go beg your boss to give you another chance. Don't worry. I'll wait.

Did you get your job back? Good. Now, crack open a beer and find a comfortable spot because what I'm about to say is not pleasant.

1. You are a newbie. You know nothing about the adult Internet. That makes you a newbie.

2. The only way to succeed in this business is through trial, error, study, criticism and hard work.

3. Even if you follow option 2, you still might not make it.

4. Most adult webmasters work approximately 3 months before they make a first sale. Three months for the ones that follow the lessons provided on sites like Cozy Academy, that is. Many more trudge through blindly, wasting time on god-knows what and spending money god-knows where.

5. The average adult webmaster makes between $2000-$4000 per month. When we say average, we mean webmasters that have mastered the marketplace. The webmasters that make more are usually long-time veterans. There are countless webmasters pulling in $50-$100 a month and thousands more that have left adult altogether.

6. You've got a sweet little chunk of cash you're just dying to invest, and all you need us to do is point you to the "GO" switch. Stop. Go back and re-read numbers 1-5.

I'm sorry if I sound rough. But part of being Cozy is giving you hard truths so you won't lose hours and money to premature moves and backward steps. Don't be ashamed or think we're belittling you. We were all newbies once. We've all had to go through the painstaking process. There are lessons. There are tutorials. There is advice given on message boards and in ICQ. There are fully-stocked adult webmaster resource sites - like CozyFrog - that provide you with a map to all the things an adult webmaster needs. For every adult webmaster success, there's a unique formula. What works for one won't work for the other. This is not some turnkey business. You have to learn from the ground up or you'll wish you had.

We're not trying to bamboozle you or scare you away as competition. We've just seen a hundreds and hundreds of webmasters learn this stuff in the very hardest ways. To make it as an Internet smut monger you've got to learn smutmongering. We can show you the Yellow Brick Road but only you have the power to walk to the Emerald City.

We are adult webmasters. We are the ones making the money. Trust us when we tell you: Don't Quit Your Day Job...Yet!