I love adult webmasters. I've worked in a lot of different environments and overall, Internet pornographers are the smartest, fairest, funniest, most skeptical peers I've ever had. I mean it. I've said it before, this is an honest industry. We serve a need and we provide what we promise. We're not selling fear or hatred. We do our best to abide by ever-changing laws, designed not to stop us but to keep us handy when election time rolls around. We're great. We're awesome. We're totally spoiled.

"We that make a living from cybersmut aren't about to go back to physical jobs willingly. Yes, our jobs are real, but you have to admit, our lives are surreal. It's easy to lose perspective. It's easy to get spoiled."

It occurred to me the other day that I miss people, but not enough to ever have to work with them again. How spoiled is that? Just a few years ago, I was in the work force, as I had been for the previous 24 years. There was a time when I had to deal with actual humans, face to face. Fancy that. I had to bathe and put on clothes and physically leave my house. The horror! Call me a liar but I swear to god I was expected to arrive at work at the same time, every single day, five days week. No. No. Believe me! It's true!

I hear you cackling quietly. I can feel your self-satisfied grin. You know what I'm talking about. It is pretty cool. So many of us came from the 9 to 5 world. Some of us worked the graveyard shift but you get the idea. We rather enjoy rising when we want and working when we want. For me, I still get a minor thrill when I realize I don't have to “work” my Dentist appointment around my “work” schedule. We that make a living from cybersmut aren't about to go back to physical jobs willingly. Yes, our jobs are real, but you have to admit, our lives are surreal. It's easy to lose perspective. It's easy to get spoiled.

Seriously. How long have you been sitting in front of your monitor? Two hours? Four? Ten? When was he last time you dealt with a group of people in a location other than the web? For that matter, did you bother to comb your hair today? Eat a decent meal? Take a moment to think about how you're pissing away the very lifestyle you worked so hard to achieve?

What happed to all those things you were going to do when you had that dream of working from home? You said you would restore that sweet antique sports car, sitting in your driveway. Why is it still sitting there collecting rust? You swore one day you would plant a vegetable garden. Why haven't you? You promised yourself you would save some of your porn money so you could finally open that store featuring your handmade jewelry. Where's the jewelry? Where's the Jewelry store? Where's the money?

Spoiled. Just like me. I was going to write that book and I still am ­ six years running. But then, I think no, I can write later. This YouTube is hilarious! I'm hungry. I wonder what I can make that will be quick and filling so I can get back to watching all the cool 80's videos I found on YouTube? I know! Burrito! And soda!

As you know. I worry. I particularly worry for you younger adult webmasters. I'm old. My ass is supposed to spread. Whatever bad habits I have, most of them I brought with me. The spoilage just intensifies my existing faults. But you, you young ones. Why aren't you out terrorizing the town with your gang of rebellious miscreants? Why are you inside at all? And while we're at it, when you do go out, do you treat people the same way some of you post on GFY? I worry that some of you are missing out on the socialization one experiences as a young adult. Fighting with friends. Crying over beers. Losing lovers and hiding from exes. Doing stupid things with other people and living to tell the tale. Is World of Warcraft really better than all of that?

Spoiled. When I was part of the work force, I read the local newspaper every day. I kept up with the things that affected my specific part of my country. Now, I barely know who is the mayor of my town. Why should I buy a local paper or watch local news when I can get world-wide news online for free? Why do I care if the county wants to tear up a busy stretch of highway for a new access ramp? I never drive to work. Any interest I've had in my city is practically vanished. I live in my town but I spend a major portion on my life slumped in front of a glowing screen.

May Internet porn go on forever, amen. But if it doesn't or if we someday look around and see no one else there and no dreams fulfilled, will it have been worth it? You worked damned hard to get to the point where you could make a living as an adult webmaster. Don't spoil it.