"If your slogan is 'See Hot Sluts Get Fucked Now!' and you want that slogan to mean something in all languages, you have entered the pearly gates of paradise."

I suck at sentence structure and my grammar is atrocious. I manage to communicate through text because my readers speak English. No translation software in the world could make me sound coherent in another language. What you read here makes sense because you understand the nuances of our common tongue.

I know a little Spanish. Mostly El Salvadoran Spanish. If I were to use my cool skills on someone from Cuba or Portugal, they’d probably have no idea what I’m blathering about. That’s because they’re from completely different countries. Different slang, different inflections. Different. Different. Different.

Have you ever been to BabelFish? Alta Vista hosts this handy, online translation engine. Granted, no webmaster in his/her right mind would use BabelFish to professionally transliterate site copy. Yet BabelFish is pretty helpful for making sense of small phrases and individual foreign language words.

Here’s a fairly common bit of sales text that US adult webmasters post on their sites:

See hot sluts get fucked now!

This is how BabelFish translates it into generic Spanish from generic English:

Vea los sluts calientes conseguir ahora cogidos!

Does that make sense to you? I don’t know. I recognize the words, calientes, ahora and sluts. Will it play in Brazil? I can’t even tell you.

According to a 1997 article by George Weber in the magazine Language Today, he breaks the world thusly: There are 13 basic languages. They are categorized by population.

01. Mandarin Chinese (1.2 billion)
02. English (330 million)
03. Spanish (300 million)
04. Hindi/Urdu (250 million)
05. Arabic (200 million)
06. Bengali (185 million)
07. Portuguese (160 million)
08. Russian (160 million)
09. Japanese (125 million)
10. German (100 million)
11. Punjabi (90 million)
12. Javanese (80 million)
13. French (75 million)

Then again, Open Source Directory, DMOZ lists 75 different permutations of human language ranging from Afrikaans to Cymraeg to Latvian to Vietnamese. Human speech is permutable, subject to the interpretation of the reader. There are billions of people on this planet that don’t know any English. They have money and they like sex or there wouldn’t be billions of them. Ignoring their dialects and jargons is just plain silly.

Translation software has gotten much better but can a computer program sell porn? You want to reach people fast and effectively. You’re out to make them want your product. If you can’t understand the text you serve to foreigners, you’re missing out on a billion-member opportunity.

Humans do it better.

Wouldn’t it be great if you could find an affordable translation service run by humans for humans? Wouldn’t it be sweet if there were companies like that for adult webmasters? Companies where an agent knows a particular language market inside and out. A company that knew how to translate properly and with the right amount of smutty marketing. It would be swell to hire a translator on a contractual basis instead of hiring an in-house employee with annual wages and benefit considerations. It would be heaven to get that good stuff without ever having to travel to another land.

You’re in heaven.

Specialization is where it’s at on the adult Internet. We have hosts, billers, designers, copywriters, content producers, programmers, security specialists, legal firms and untold other specialists that are porn friendly. We even have language translation providers and they’re human. If your slogan is “See Hot Sluts Get Fucked Now!” and you want that slogan to mean something in all languages, you have entered the pearly gates of paradise.

Cozy Frog has resource guides for any aspect of this industry. We thoroughly review all the sites listed on all our guides. We have created a sub-category to our special Other Guide. That category is Translation. You can find all our Guides on the left-hand sidebar of this page. You can visit our Translation listings page at:

http://www.cozyfrog.com/listings/other/translation.asp

You know why I know the tiniest bit of El Salvadoran Spanish? Because I was around people that spoke it. I did my best to learn the words because it’s common courtesy and it made me better. Because I did that, I gained the friendship and trust of some brave and intelligent people. I came to see past the differences, appreciate the experience and began to see our sameness.

Don’t limit your scope. Why hinder your profits? The translators mentioned above can enable you to cross over a world of boundaries. This may be the World Wide Web but the web doesn’t translate text into French, Dansk, Tagalog or Farsi. Get Translated Today!